Categorize Your Friends
by GamerMouth
Summary: While Sanji is away gathering supplies, the crew stumbles upon something interesting. How will they react? What will happen to Sanji? This is my first story in a while so I'm sorry if it's not great. Please comment what you think down below.


Ten Minutes Earlier.  
"I can't believe he'd say that about us" Usopp said in shock.

"Sanji..." Choppers voice wavered brokenly.

"Wait, Luffy, we shouldn't do this. Do you know how mad Sanji will be when you eat the cookies he made for Nami and Robin?" Usopp whimpered, knees shaking at the mere thought of angering the chef.

"Oh, come on. It'll be fine. Besides I'm the Captain and I'm hungry. Plus Sanji has the best cookies in the whole world!" He said raising his arms in the air before pausing with a grin. "If you help me, I'll give you some."

Usopp paused, mouth watering at the mere thought of eating those delicious cookies. He swallowed, raising a shaky fist "You can count on me Luffy, I'll stand watch" he turned back toward the kitchen door, peeking out occasionally.

"Shishishi" Luffy laughed before turning toward the cabinets. He extended his arms, and then his head as he swung open the cabinet doors. He looked around for the cookiess, tossing everything else out into the floor.

Usopp froze as loud thunks came from behind him. He wheeled around, schreeching quietly. "Luffy?! What in the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"What's that noise?" Robins voice was heard from out on the deck. Usopp whimpered.

"Shall I go investigate?" Brooke spoke up, standing from his comfortable spot in the grassy deck.

Nami rolled her eyes "No it's probably just those idiots." she grumbled before returning to her sunbathing.

"They must be after our dear chefs cookies than." Robin smirked slightly, head propped in her hands.

Nami jolted up, tan long forgotten. "Not today! I've been looking forward to those cookies!" She hissed standing and stomping toward the kitchen.

Robin chuckled following after her, carefree as always. Franky raised his glasses blinking after them. "Nami looks Suuupper angry!" He stood putting down his wrench and tools. "I should see what's the matter, like a real man, Yow!"

Nami stomped her way toward the kitchen, stepping on Zoro in the process. "Hnk!" he grunted, startled awake "Dammit, you bitch, what do you think you're doin-" He paused, watching as everyone started filing toward the kitchen. "Dinner already?" he grinned standing "That means booze. Oy, Chopper, dinner time!" he called as he passed the Doctor's room door.

Chopper flung open the door grinning. "OOh, Sanji promised me a cotton candy sandwich for dinner tonight!" he trailed after Zoro, pausing as they entered the kitchen. "What's going on?" Chopper asked wide eyed at the mess Luffy had made.

"Where are the cookies?!" Luffy pouted angrily "I can't find them!" Suddenly a fist collided with his head. "Stay out of the damn kitchen!" Nami seethed.

Usopp, having accepted his grim fate earlier, decided to search through some magazines. He paused finding one half open to an interesting article.

"Woah, guys check this out. Sanji wrote about us in one of his magazines!" Usopp explaimed, holding up said magazine, before setting it down on the kitchen table. All eyes turned toward him.

"Wait, he did? Ah, what's it say!? What's it say?!" Chopper asked excitedly, clapping his hooves together.

"Probably just to complain about us" Zoro frowned stepping over toward Usopp.

"No Look!" Usopp grinned cheekily "Categorize your friends" he read the title of the article, causing several of the crew members (Franky, Chopper, and Brooke) to run over and sit at the kitchen table near Usopp. "I wonder what it says about me? Probably something like 'Captain Usopp is the bravest, strongest man in the whole world. It's an honor to see all his bright shining glory every day" Usopp grinned rubbing his chin.

Luffy snapped forward, box of cookies long forgotten. "Oooh lemme see!" he stood next to Usopp excitedly, bouncing a little.

Usopp cleared his throat before reading off the article:

Which of your friends is the Most Skilled? "Usopp. That long nosed idiot has sniping skills like none I've ever seen. He may be cowardly sometimes, and a liar but he always comes through for the crew when we need it." Usopp sniffed, nose wrinkled from keeping in tears "That-That's so sweet!" he cried, clinging to Franky who cried with him.

Nami smiled, sighing and sitting down at the table. "We'll be here a while, let's get comfy"

Usopp gasped, wiping his eyes and smiling before he continued on.

Which of your friends is the Smartest?  
"Robin, of course. She can read those hyrogliphic things that look worse than Luffy's handwriting."

"Hey! How Rude" Luffy pouted crossing his arms. Robin, meanwhile, let out an amused chuckle. "Why, thank you cook-san".

Usopp continued, shaking his head and smiling at Luffy and Robin.

Which of your friends is the Most Stubborn?  
"Luffy. No Contest. That boy doesn't listen to anyone.-"

That caused the whole crew to laugh. "Sanji, you're so mean!" Luffy stomped his feet angrily.

"But!" Usopp continued, slightly annoyed now. "But he also doesn't give up, no matter how hard things get and I greatly admire that."

Luffy paused, thinking for a second before a big grin spread across his face. "Shishishi, okay you're forgiven Sanji! Now make me some meat!"

"Didn't he want cookies a moment ago?" Brooke asked, causing Nami to shush him with her hand

"Shut up, don't mention to Luffy-aye the cookie-ayes" She said silently.

Brooke blushed before taking and using this opportunity "Miss Nami, may you be so kind as to show me your panties?"

Nami growled, spinning around, she kicked him right in the head "Like hell!" Brooke let out a happy "Yohoho!" before toppling over.

Which of your friends is the Strongest?  
Again, no contest. Zoro. There hasn't been one day where he's not training his body in one way or another. I have no doubt he'll be the world's greatest someday. He's also my best friend, though I'd NEVER tell him that. Stupid Moss Head."

Zoro sputtered, eyes wide "W-what?! There's no way it says that! Give it!" he said, yanking it from Usopps grasp. "Hey!" Usopp snapped angrily as Zoro read over the question with his own eyes. "Holy crap" he muttered.

Franky howled, tears streaming down his face "Sanji has been keeping his love and devotion to his best friend a secret all this time! It's so beautiful! I'm not crying!"

Luffy grinned "Shishishi! Well that was obvious, wasn't it?" he asked the crew as Usopp yanked back the magazine from Zoro. The crew just paused before smiling. "I suppose so, Captain" Robin declared.

Chopper wiggled excitedly "What's it say about me?! Not that I care or anything!" he giggled.

Usopp rolled his eyes before scanning over the magazine.

Which of your friends is the kindest? "That'd be Chopper. The little reindeer seriously has a heart of gold. Plus I stopped making him my alternate food source after the second day. You can't eat something that cute!"

Chopper gasped, eyes alight with happiness "I-I'm not a food source! But this whole time he's-" Zoro interrupted him "Apparently curly brow has a soft spot he doesn't show anyone" he mumbled blushing slightly.

Usopp continued quickly, before anyone else could interrupt.

Which of your friends is the most talented?  
"Franky. He can make anything out of nothing. What he does with the Sunny is absolutely amazing. I will never meet a better shipwright as long as I live" Well, that just caused Franky to cry harder, tears gushing down his face like giant waterfalls "SanjiiiiiiI! Ol' pal! He's so sweet!"

"It shocks me slightly that Sanji had such a kind heart, it makes me want to cry my eyes out. Though I don't have any eyes to begin with. Yohohoho!" Brooke grinned. "What does it say about me, pray tell?"

Usopp grinned, scanning the magazine "Just you and Nami left." he cleared his throat as he began again

Which of your friends is the funniest?  
"Brooke. But do not tell him I said that! His skull jokes are really funny, plus he always has such a carefree nature. I hope I can be that alive when I'm dead. Get it? Okay, I suck at this." That caused many of the crew to giggle. Except Zoro, who groaned "God no, not another one."

"Yohohoho! Sanji, that is too kind of you! I am honored!" he bowed raising his tophat.

Nami grinned, clapping her hands together. "What's it say about me, huh? I bet it's about my stunning good looks or my sharp wit!"

"Well, let's see..." Usopp paused, sweatdropping as he read the last entry.

Who out of your friends is the scariest?  
"That would be Nami. She can go from 0 to 100 real quick. But she can also be kind when she wants to be."

That caused Zoro to howl with laughter, practically doubling over and clutching his stomach. Nami meanwhile had a dark aura surrounding her. "Oh really?" she hissed out, causing Usopp and Chopper to flinch back. -Poor Sanji- They thought Simultaniously.

Five Minutes Later

Sanji walked back toward the ship, carrying the ingrediants and food that would last them for the next few weeks on the Sunny. He paused, panting at the bottom of the ladder. "Oy, mosshead, help me out here!" he shouted out as he climbed the ship. "I need you to grab the supplies before they ruin-" he paused after stepping on the ship and seeing the faces of his crewmates. "What?" he asked causing the whole crew to burst into speech at once, walking briskly toward him.

"Sanji, I'm not a food source, really?!"

"Cook-san, that was so kind of you."

"Sanji, make me some meat!"

"Seriously, curly brow? You couldn't admit that we're best friends?!"

"Wahhh, Sanji, you really think I'm the greatest shipwright?! That's Superrrr!"

"Scariest?! I'll show you scariest!"

Voices overlapping each other Sanji raised his hands, wide eyed "Woah, woah, what's going on?!" he exclaimed, thoroughly confused. Usopp stepped forward holding out the magazine "We found this in the kitchen. Categerize your friends."

That caused Sanji's face to darken like a tomato. "I-I...no ...well you see-" he sputtered. Zoro smirked stepping forward and hesitating before hugging Sanji "You're my best friend too, dumbass cook" Sanji gaped in shock, returning the hug shakily. The crew grinned, surrounding him and praising his sweet words.

Sanji smiled, a small laugh escaping as he rubbed his neck bashfully "You guys weren't supposed to see that. But hey since you did, how about we celebrate?"

And everything ended happily ever after. Until the next day when they had to fight off a bunch of marines. But being pirates, one calm day at a time, is a blessing. 


End file.
